Category Archives: Geography

Tiger Woods (place)

Posted on January 11, 2011 by danfiveoh| Leave a comment

Tiger Woods is a woods infested with baby tigers (also called Kubbs). It is located approximately 8.37 miles east-west of the more famous, and richer Sherwood Forest which is also a woods.

History

  • Tiger Woods is the historic home of Robbie Hoodie, a chav that lived in medieval times. The hooded fellow robbed from the rich, the poor, the good, and the bad. He never got caught and is rumoured to be the great-great-great-great-uncle’s-cousin of Michael Carroll, the self-lost millionnaire of modern folk lore.
  • The woods was accidently burnt-down in 1982 when the baby tigers discovered fire. Fortunately scientists were able to use DNA samples to regrow the woods and the tigers. Since then each tiger has come with optional ‘foliage’ style fur due to a sample mix-up.

Trivia

  • Tiger Woods is home to the grey squirrel. The red squirrels were outlawed after being suspected of trying to ‘be’ baby tigers. This caused much confusion to the American tourists, who shot first, and then buggered off to shoot something else.

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Desborough, England

Posted on January 11, 2011 by danfiveoh| Leave a comment

Desborough is a town in Northamptonshire, England.

History of Desborough

Desborough was created in 212 AD, following the collision of Jupiter’s Galilean moons, Europa and Io. This collision caused a cosmic dust cloud, which after travelling for several hours, settled on waste land near Market Harborough. A gentleman named Des Borough, happened to witness the event, and subsequently named the town after himself.

The Great Fire

In 1612, a small fire broke out in fields, now a business park, causing damage to approximately 12 trees and the extinction of the Desborough Marmot population. Declared to be the twelth biggest fire in England to date by an independent survey, Desborough holds a Marmot day on the 11th of November at 11:11am, every year.

Desborough-Rothwell War

In 1991, the Desborough townspeople officially declared war on neighbouring town Rothwell, after a speed warning sign incorrectly warned a Desborough resident travelling through Rothwell, that he was over the 30mph limit, when in fact he was only doing 28mph. The war lasted approximately 2 months, and resulted in the deaths of 649 Rothwell residents, and 258 Desborough residents.

Desborough today

In recent years, Desborough has become a cultural mecca for some of the more important blue-chip companies, looking for a rural location to base their own megalomaniacal takeovers. In 2005, Desborough was officially noted as being, “England’s equivalent to Silicon Valley” by Prime Minister, Tony Blair.

Famous residents

  • Anna Nicole Smith – Former playboy roly-poly model and actress, turned corpse.
  • Prince Harry – Often found drunk in local pub, Benels, due to constant free drinks.
  • Mysic Meg – Leader of the local gypsy community.

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