Cheese is a common, often yellow, source of nourishment that is not to be confused with Geese, which are a flying creature capable of squawking loudly to those that pass them.
History
Cheese was first produced in the 14th century in Hackney, England. Whilst dealing with an outbreak of Marmots, locals decided to try and milk the captured vermin and found that the yield was of a creamy texture which solidified on contact with the air.
The name Cheese was decided upon by a Mr. Audrey Harriot, often believed to the be ancestor of television nitwit chef Ainsley Harriot.
Consistency
Cheese is mostly a solid, but at boiling point can melt to the consistency of tar.
In 1946, following the end of World War 2, Mr Philip Adelphia created the worlds first spreadable cheese and cornered a market that would go untouched until Thomas Dairylea created his now famous brand of triangle shaped cheese bites.
Trivia
- In World War 1 cheese was used as both an explosive and as a source of calcium to British troops.
- Though ‘calciyummy’, cheese does not turn the milk chocolatey.
- There are 14 different types of cheese, 12 of which are french, 1 english and 1 swiss. All other cheeses are essentially the english cheese (cheddar) with food colouring or bits of cabbage added.