The Badger is the self proclaimed leader of all the forest-based animals. The badger is best known for his love of mashed potato and knitting.
Diet
Everybody knows, badger loves mashed potato, he builds them into shapes and eats them everyday.
Mating Habits
Badgers are not generally considered romantic, and are largely keen on one-night-stands. Being considered as the leader of the forest allows the badger to bed anything he chooses, regardless of gender or species. Badgers have been known to seduce female humans on occasion.
Trivia
- Badgers have the largest genitalia of all nature’s creatures, and have approximately twice the length and girth of a male Blue Whale’s penis.
- Badgers are keen followers of the industrial gothic movement, often causing some confusion as both the males and females sometimes wear skirts.
- Male badgers live for approximately 24 years, with some females living as long as 104. This large difference is thought to be caused by the effects of global warming on the male badger hormone, Badgeriniumathoniconium.