Coldplay are an alternative rock band from London, England known for their love of Thai food, selling out to whichever charity is in fashion and writing songs to slit your wrists by.
The band currently consists of:
- Chris Martin – Lead vocals
- Paris Hilton – Guitar
- Edd the Duck – Drums
- Roquefort Cheese – Bass
History
Coldplay formed in 1996 when three students called Chris, Edd and Paris and a lump of cheese decided that their future lay in pompous rock ballads, destined to be overused in film scenes of a sad nature. With this in mind, they practiced and practiced till their little fingers could practice no more, finally releasing Parachutes in 1999.
Parachutes was an overnight success. Sadly the next day the only tracks to be remembered would be Yellow and Trouble. Consistently, the same occured with the next album, A Rush of Blood to the Head, whereby only Clocks and The Scientist would become remembered, mainly due to them quickly becoming the only tracks mainstream television would use as the sad part of the soundtrack. Since 2001, anyone dying in a film will be accompanied by one of those two tracks.
2004 saw the release of the third studio album, X&Y. By this time, Coldplay had become more political than Adolf Hitler and Chris Martin had fathered two children, Apple and Banana. Therefore it could be argued this album was a little bit distracted, some might say shit.
Trivia
- To date, over eleventy-million people have committed suicide to Coldplay, they currently lie second only to Radiohead whose daily suicide rate is the most common cause of death among students.
- Coldplay actually means “We Three Twits” in Hebrew.