World of Warcraft (commonly referred to as WoW or Nerdy Timesink) is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG). Released on 23rd November 2004, originally as a side project by 70s glam-rockers Wizzard, the game now has eleventy million subscribers including at least 2 women.
The first official expansion was released on 16th January 2007 and was entitled World Server Down. The games second expansion, Authentication Server Down is due for release towards the end of 2008.
Gameplay
Players are invited to create a character (that can eventually reach the heady heights of level 256) firstly choosing one of two opposing factions, the Hoord or the Allyunce, followed by a race (Merkins, Gendarmerie, Borks or Swedish for the Hoord or Monkeys, Penguins, Bunnies or Teddybears for the Allyunce).
Finally, the player must choose a class based on the follow skillsets:
- Pirate – A thief type character with that comes with a bonus to sword skill, as well as a novelty parrot. Cannot be played by Bunnies.
- Mork – A dimension travelling alien species, occasionally contacts his own planet, and is succeptible to falling for drippy american actresses with alledged drug problems.
- Accountant – Ideal class for the financially concerned, but likely to bore the tits off anyone not afflicted by Autism.
- Sherman – The ideal tanking class. Is actually a tank, can do nothing apart from drive and shoot. Cannot be played by Merkins.
- Catholic Priest – The healing class, cannot fight and gets intimidated easily. Not good with children.
- Tree – Self explanatory, is just a tree. Looks pretty, can develop specialities (acorn, conker or apple) at level 60.
- Terminator – The ultimate damage-per-second class, however only functions after 6pm and must work for it’s local county council during office hours.
Characters must earn sexperience points to advance through the levels, either through completely jobs for various mini factions, or by simply killing a variety of non playable enemy characters, such as Boars or Marmots.
At level 5, characters may choose to learn two professions allow goods to be crafted and traded amongst other characters. A character may learn:
- Dealer – Trade in illegal substances such as Crack, Findus Crispy Pancakes or Wood.
- Estate Agent – Trade in Warcraft property, which unfortunately is as yet implemented.
- Shoe Maker – Craft the finest shoes for all occasions.
- Olympic Athlete – Adds run speed, ability to compete in races but prone to doping tests, media scorn and athlete’s foot.
Control
Characters are controlled using a mixture of keyboard, mouse and mind control. Mind control functionality was added in patch 1.5.2 to much criticism, but though responsible for 3 deaths to date, is now largely accepted.