A duck is a floating vessel containing food. Specifically duck meat, and on rare occasions, duck fat. Sometimes the duck contains an orange or a plum. If it contains a plum, the vessel sinks, allowing fishermen to fish them up using their plum-rod.
Duck rules
- Ducks rule the small lakes in the UK, however swans rule the larger lakes.
- You must never feed a duck breadcrumbs or get it wet. If you know a duck to be wet. Cook it immediately to dry it out.
- Duck season is from 26 December to 24 December and 1 of the Queen’s two official birthdays. Turkey season is 25 December and the other of the Queen’s birthdays.
Duck Types
- Ducks come in different colours but are all the same shape and are always between small and big sizes.
- Ducks with green heads are radioactive because they eat SIM-cards.
- Ducks with brown heads eat nothing but shit. Never eat meat that has arrived in a brown-headed duck.
- Ducks with pink or purple heads are the duck version of a duck (see below).
Duck Trivia
- Duck’s fly only twice a day. To go to work and to come home.
- If you freeze a duck it will get confused and will explode. You can then make a duck smoothie.
- If you meet a man that is a duck then that man is considered to be a homosexual, but in a funny way, like Dale Winton!